Not all Who Wander (From Their Diets) Are Lost

Not all those who wander are lost.

As a recovering perfectionist, I struggle with self-identifying as a wanderer. Despite knowing that all heroes and giants of our world all were wanderers who paved the ways to liberation, invention and revolution, wandering still makes me feel guilty.

I like seeing other people wander though.

The people who quit their jobs to pursue their dream. The one who puts off school to travel the world. The one who moves to Kenya to teach English. The one who’s been on a diet since she was 7 tells her mom to go to you know where.

There’s a glorious feeling in watching people take the leap. I suppose it feels freeing. It reminds me that indeed we do all have free will and the way we choose to live this life - well, it’s a choice. All of it. Down to the food we choose to eat.

Not all those who wander are lost.

These past two weeks, I took my first vacation in the better part of a year. And I wandered in my own way. I strayed. In my world, where wellness and health are always top-of-mind, I made a conscious decision to turn it off. I decided to eat whatever I wanted while I was away. I know to some people, this seems like an obvious choice, but it was a really tough one for me.

Fear consumed me. I’m a health coach! I’m supposed to be perfect!

Nonetheless, I pushed those unfair expectations down and decided to wander anyway.

For 10 days meat and cheese were back in the picture. Did my body love it? Hah! Not in the least, but MY SOUL NEEDED IT. 10 days of no rules. No constantly making choices about what to eat, no having to explain my health choices to the waiter, no depriving myself of what I truly wanted. It was amazing. I freakin’ wandered. But I wasn’t lost. I was conscious of where I was going and never lost myself in it. This was a moment to be enjoyed and it wouldn’t last forever.

It’s now Day 2 back home in New York and I am back in the gym, eating plants and legumes and quinoa again. Cheese and meat are back in their corner. And (thank god) my body is getting back to a normal rhythm.

The funny part of all of this is that I thought giving into temptation would ruin my diet forever. I thought it would make me miss eating like a “normal” person. But it didn’t. I went against my own perfectionist and judgey nature and allowed myself to enjoy the forbidden fruit with careless abandon during my journey. And when I wandered back, I allowed myself to fall back into the rituals that allow me to feel and be my best self.

I share this with you to say that it’s ok to wander and to give yourself the permission to not be perfect.

Be free without judgement. Trust yourself that you can wander but you will not be lost. You know the way home.

Sending you so much love and light this week.

All my best, Maranda

My point is this.

Maranda Elkin